Friday, May 30, 2014

Second Isn't Special

Second, it seems, isn't special.  When it comes to the order of birth, I was the second child.  I never minded being the second child.  My parents would say (and I can attest to this line as a parent myself), "I did a lot with the first that I wouldn't do with the second."  Doing something for the first time brings with it many mistakes.  As a parent, I made many mistakes with Jack.  I still do.  Why?  He is the first.  Almost everything done with him is done for the first time.  But with James?  It's most likely been done before.

Now, the purpose of this post isn't to point out that the second child in a family isn't special.  As a second child myself, I can attest this isn't the case.  The point of this post is to show that in the world, second is never quite first.  Second place is never first place.  Second in line means you have to wait.  If you are number two, then you aren't number one, and there is something wrong with that.  If you are number two, then you didn't work hard enough.  You didn't do enough.

With that, doing something for the second time doesn't hold the same magic.  Most would say, "Been there, done that."  Some things are cool enough to do over and over again, it's true.  (Disneyland, anyone?)  But it seems, for the most part, if it's a second time, it isn't special.  
And that bothers me.
What's wrong with second?  Have we become so desensitized to what it means to put someone, or something, else first?  As a parent, it's done every day.  Whether you want to or not, you put those little people you care for first, period.  If you don't?  Well, if you don't the disasters that would follow could essentially be deadly.  You have to.  It is in that "have to" we sometimes lose sight of how special being second really is.  When you are second you get to be a witness to the first.

Sometimes we get so caught up in what it means to take care of ourselves, we put what we want or what we do first, and we forget to remember there are more important things.  In this technological age, too many technological things get in the way.  Life is noisy, and in that noise we become deaf to what really matters.  Open your ears, open your eyes.  Being second means many things.  If you are second, then you can put someone else first.  Being second reminds you of humanity, and weakness.  Being second means you can be better.  Having seconds means you were grateful for the first.  
Second is sacred.

As with all things, balance.  It is okay to be first sometimes.  But remember; time is measured with seconds.  Time is all that we have on this earth.  If our seconds are sacred, then our time is well spent.
And that makes second special.