The Label

Everyone has a different title.  Something they label themselves as.  Some self label with "single, and waiting for life, and maybe marriage."  Others as "married, and waiting for life, maybe kids."  Still, even more, might label themselves with "career oriented, family, life is good" or "no family, love life, job is fabulous, not waiting for anything."
I have a title.  It's called "married, life happened, waiting for who knows what."

The "who knows what" changes almost daily.  Sometimes the "waiting for" portion of the phrase gets omitted all together.  Why am I writing today?  Well, because "who knows what" became a whole lot of "what the" in the span of about two months.

But right now?  This very moment?
I just want one thing.
To be alone.

My kids all woke up rather grumpy.  One was very upset because he was hungry and isn't very good at making his own eggs yet, the other was yelling because he had to go to the bathroom so bad he couldn't get his pants off fast enough, and the third needed a diaper change.  One person.  That's me.  The one.  The ONE person to solve all three of those problems, as fast as possible, has only two hands.  So you prioritize right?  Bathroom first.  Or?  Well, pee.
Lots of pee.

The second?  Diaper.  No one likes soggy anything.  Third?  Food.  We can always wait for food, even though our "hangry" voices might say otherwise.  And that was just the first 20 minutes of the morning.  That doesn't include the following 9 hours between then and now.

To be completely honest, I shouldn't complain.
But let's just throw that out the window.

I'm TIRED!

Sometimes I can't help it.  Some days I just wasn't built for this label of mine.  The married, mom, one.  Life holds a lot of choices, and I made mine.  It's true.  But?  Heaven knows.  Some days I envy those single people.  Or those married with no kids people.  Or those job people.  I envy their routine.  I envy their ability to CHOOSE when they want to go to the bathroom, instead of holding it for 2 hours because it's impossible to do anything else BUT hold it.
Or?  Just going to the bathroom without an audience  Seriously.  Why?
Just let me pee in peace.
I envy the time they have to completely focus.  I envy that they can actually get things done in a normal time frame.  And oh.... Oh how I envy their silence.  Their ability to eat a meal when it's still warm.  Their ability to sit.  To think.  To dream and wonder.  I do.  I'll admit it.  I envy other labels.
There are days, like right now, where I would like to reach out, take someone else's label, and slap it on my own chest.

But?  Well.  Life happens.  Life happens, and sometimes we just have to wear our label proudly, like a triathlon number.  We swim, we pedal, and we run.  We think we are going to drown, we crash our bikes into trees, and we trip on rocks, but we keep going.  We keep swimming, and pedaling, and running.  Whatever life we happen to live, whatever part of the race we happen to be in, we are in it to the finish.
So we go.
Then?  Then when it's over and we are all sweaty, and covered in dirt we can throw up our hands in victory and say "We did it!"

Now for the shower.
But......
Can that one be alone at least?