Shower Fat

This summer is what I like to refer to as "fat summer."  I didn't exercise nearly as much as I should have, nor did I really pay attention to what went into my belly, and in turn, onto my butt.  I didn't gain much weight.  In fact, it's the "only-you-will-notice-it-when-you-are-naked-looking-in-the-mirror-after-you-have-showered" fatness.  The shower feeling.  The one where you get out, and look at all the pudges, grabbing some portions of what were once finely toned muscle and thinking,
"Hmmmm.  That's. Not. Attractive."

We are our own worst critic, and I know that I am far too critical of myself, and probably far too often.  Enter life's lesson number I don't know what thousand.  "Just do the best you can."  Okay.  Well.  Shoot.  Let me put it this way.  When I used to work, I got performance evaluations all the time.  Areas within which I could excel were pointed out, and weaknesses I had in my job were addressed.  I got raises if I did better, or worked harder.  Well, my "job" is now Jack.  And my performance evaluations?  I am the one giving them, and I am the one receiving them.  Only I see how I am with the little guy every hour, of every day.  It's a fact that Jack enrolled me in the senior capstone of the Parenting BA instead of Parenting 101, but regardless of how difficult he can get, I find myself wondering why I run one direction when I need to slowly move towards a better goal.  My performance eval's of late are ranking low.  Really low.  A part of me knows that it's "just that stage," but another part of me also knows that I am not giving it my best.  Sometimes the computer, among other meaningless tasks, takes precedence. 
Basically?  I am seeing the shower fat that no one else really knows is there.

Well, here's your self-esteem.  Take it.  Love it.  Feed it.  Lately?  I haven't been feeding mine.  I haven't been feeding the most important part of myself.  My heart.  I take every day in stride, but every day I find myself wondering what I should have done better; how I could have done better.  It's true we need to give ourselves credit for the things we do accomplish.  We need to be proud of who we are, and where we are.  However.  It is also true that we need to work on those things that need some fine tuning.  That shower fat.  Those parts of ourselves that aren't the best that they can be, if for little other reason than our own laziness.  In truth?  We are doing wonderfully, and we can still be better.

It's a fantastic reality.  No matter how well we are doing, there is always room for growth; always shower fat to trim.  Some days I feel like moving to Italy, and gorging every desire I ever had in food, thus encouraging, and even increasing the fat I see in the mirror.  Sometimes it would be so much easier to give in; to let go.  But then where would I be?  Well, I can guarantee my shower flub would be quite a bit more noticeable to many besides my bathroom mirror.  No.  I am better than that.  We are better than that.  I can be, and need to be, better than I was yesterday.  Better than I was today.  Every day will bring new challenges.  Every day will bring new victories.  Every day is a new day to grow.  A new day to learn.  A new day to change for the better; to be and do more.  "Just do the best that you can."
It's true.  Just make sure it is, indeed, your best.  If it is?  Then you are doing wonderfully.
And you can still be better.