It's Your Soul

So we live in a new place.  It's a beautiful place.  But?  Believe it or not, I am shy.  I am.  And?  Getting to know "new moms" is akin to dating.  How should I look?  What kind of first impression am I giving?  Do I really care what they think?  Sort of.  Maybe a little.  Not a lot, but some.
Seriously.  Dating.

In fact, today when I dropped Jack off at school I had on no makeup (let's face it, that's a daily deal) and I wasn't wearing a bra.  Yup.  No bra.  No makeup.  I guess I really am a "granola cruncher."  Now I just need a Subaru.

Anyway, getting to know people has been a slow process.  I kind of hide in a little shell until you really get to know me.  I think a lot of people do it, I am sure I am not the only one.  Needless to say I guess I come off as a bit "come offish."  I have gotten to know this one really neat lady, though.  Her name is Sarah.  We've talked a few times, but nothing in depth.  She did tell me though that she is an artist.  As she was describing her art, she began to tear up, and said, "Sometimes it's hard to let yourself out there like that.  You open yourself up, and people can rip you apart."

Well, this weekend is the "art weekend" here in Moab.  I asked her today if she was going to be showing any of her art.  She replied quietly, "I don't know.  Maybe."
I responded,
"Don't be afraid of what other people think.  Just remember, it's your soul.  Not theirs."

It's your soul.  It's my soul.  As I was driving home, I thought about it more.  It's my soul, not theirs.  Like Sarah, I often get shy when it comes to any talent I feel I might have.  I also get shy about who I am.  Today for example, with this post.  I am putting it out for anyone in the world to judge.  They may hate it, they may like it, I may never know which.  But?  Shouldn't I just do it anyway?
Shouldn't I exemplify who I am inside by simply being me?  Whoever I decide that me should be on any given day?
It's my soul.  Not theirs.

We live in a world that is so annoyingly loud sometimes it becomes very difficult to hear anything other than the tantrums of others.  It is in moments like today; moments.  I see the world around me.  I really look at my own life, and I remember who I am deep down.  Sometimes I am a bra-less, make-up-less, granola cruncher that wouldn't mind sitting under waterfalls, singing along with a band of hippies.  Other days I feel more grounded as I sit with my sons and remember my pride in the role of mother, and my stay at home status.  
I am me, and I am many different variations at many different times.
And?  That's okay.

Be proud of who you are, and share it with the world around you.  You are not talent-less, nor are you required to fit any other mold than the one God created for you.  You are you.  And that?
That is a beautiful thing.
It's your soul.  Not theirs.